Does Everyone Cheat?

I am not a big fan of TikTok. It seems to me the platform is people trying to get attention based on their looks, or adhering to some trend that is popular at the moment. However, I came across one video where one woman was stating that all women cheat – continuing that if a woman tells you different, don’t believe them. Is she right? Do all women cheat?

I guess we would have to define what cheating is. What is considered cheating to one person may not be cheating to another. To borrow from the current (as of this post) Wikipedia entry on Infidelity, cheating would be a violation of a couple’s assumed or stated contract regarding emotional and/or sexual exclusivity. I am going to define cheating as engaging in sexual activity with someone outside of your exclusive romantic relationship.

I guess there is no real way to know if everyone cheats. We can assume the people who admit to it are telling the truth, but we would have to assume those who deny ever cheating are telling the truth, as well. The only real way to engage in this to look at it through statistics.

Seven-year Itch

The Seven-year itch idea entered our culture by a play – later adapted into film, titled The Seven Year Itch. The play follows a man who is away from his wife and son, and while at home alone, an attractive woman ends up moving into the apartment above his. Since the play and film have been published, the seven-year itch has become a popular belief. A popular belief that has research to back it.

For most of the years between 1867 and 1977, data are available for the United States or portions thereof to calculate the median dura- tion of marriage at time of decree (table 1). As shown in figure 1, considerable fluctuation has occurred in the median duration of marriage over this 111-year period. The median duration has ranged between 5.8 and 8.3 years and the trend has changed directions several times. The median durations for 1870-72 were almost the same as those for 1969-72 (6.9 years in 1870, 1872, and 1969; 6.7 years in lt]71 and 1970-72).

Duration of Marriage Before Divorce
United States

It seems that marriages that ended, were ending around the seven-year mark. Majority of marriages did go the rest of their lives, but did those same women not experience what the divorced women experienced? There are many different circumstances in each marriage, but whatever ended the marriages for the divorced – did not the other marriages go through? I am inclined to think they did.

Serial Monogamy

Serial monogamy is a mating practice in which individuals may engage in sequential monogamous pairings, or in terms of humans, when men or women can marry another partner but only after ceasing to be married to the previous partner. It is my hypothesis that the majority of adult Americans are serial monogamists. They do fall in love and experience a true desire to be with that person only. However, that true feeling doesn’t last forever.

With work taking up most of our adult lives, it is very likely we will meet someone we are interested in at work. It has been reported that 70% of married women have crushes on someone who is not their husband. So, how do we deal with these crushes with that attractive coworker?

If you feel the urge to actualize the relationship with your crush, remind yourself that your conception of them is usually a fantasy. There is no way your real-life partner, whom you know so well (warts and all) and have likely been with for some time, can compete with this idealized persona. That’s because the initial newness and excitement of any relationship fade over time. 

How To Handle A Crush When You’re Married (And What It Means)

That is right – except that excitement was all your doing. It is very likely that your spouse wasn’t thrilling and later got boring. It is that we are serial monogamist, and what was once appealing is not appealing anymore.

Marriage

Marriage is not just a union. Marriage is a promise. That promise is that you will be together and stay together. What some have come to realize is that it can get very messy and difficult to annul a marriage – even if there are no kids involved. It’s not so easy to walk away. There is residence, dependabilities, pressure from family, etc. With all that those influences, many people stay unhappily married until they finally cannot take it anymore. Some stay in a marriage and ride the waves of happy and unhappy.

Cheaters?

If there were no institutions, or social pressure and stigma; I think most people would be together for a little while, and then move on to someone else. However, there are institutions and social pressure. So when the relationship takes it natural course and people lose interest, they can either work on staying faithful and work on the relationship, breakup, or cheat. I think the woman I saw in the TikTok video was wrong in wording, but correct in idea. Do all women cheat? No! Do all people at some point want to cheat? Yes. I believe that if everyone did whatever they truly wanted, we would see relationships start, then end, then new relationships start again. But in the meantime, they will work on relationships, breakup, or cheat.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s